“No, I suppose he didn’t like THAT much!” (A True Story!)

Friday, June 15th, 2012

DICKHEAD, WHOM I’VE NEVER SEEN IN MY LIFE BEFORE (AND, THEREFORE, DO NOT “KNOW”), WHEN I’M NOT ACTUALLY SMOKING A CIGARETTE (AT THE TIME): “Hey, you got a cigarette?*
————————————————————-
*This happens — almost without fail — if you light up a cigarette in public in the environs of the city proper during daylight hours here in Portland, OR.
     Particularly if you’re an unaccompanied male [I don’t know if the glasses type me more easily as a “nerd” or an “easy mark” to these would-be “alpha males,” who (apparently) never have to choose their battles or size up their opponents; call them: “inverse samurai,” their success is guarranteed] — and, therefore, it needs to be impressed upon you that it’s O.K. for your concentration/single-moment’s-peace to be broken by these walking “pop-up ads” since you (obviously) have to:

      (1.)  be their “mommy” [i.e., provide for them; and, trust me, as I think we all know: a single cigarette will really go far!]; or else–
      (2.)  they’ll “kick my ass” [even a flicker of rage in their eyes at being “spurned” is sufficient to qualify as the default position these “boys” will thereupon take]; ‘cuz
      (3.)  it’s not a “two-way street” with the “free speech” thing here in America [i.e., a frantic sideways hand-gesture waved in my outer line of vision — regardless of whether I happen to be reading Paste magazine, Scott Smith’s The Ruins, or listening to the American Analog Set’s Set Free at the time — is covered under the First Amendment, but a casual, automatic middle finger extended by me in response (without, of course, looking up) is most definitely not covered [and, yes, I’ve received a couple lectures on this . . . ]

      So . . . what else is there to say, really?
      But:
————————————————————-
ME:  Oh, that’s funny.
DICKHEAD:  How is that funny?
ME:  It’s a joke!
DICKHEAD:  How is it a joke?
ME:  Well . . . you’re a joke!

THE END

POSTSCRIPT:  Needless to say, if you were walking along the sidewalk (as I was, in this case), you need to back off a bit to let the initiator of this dialogue “vent” — but out of your immediate reach (and, of course, vice versa).
                            I heard “[something-something] Bush-Cheney” (i.e., I’m “like” them, for not being “fair” to this “with-it” dude — which I obviously should, on the basis of no more than his being both incarnate and ambulatory here in Portland, OR), but I didn’t catch the rest.

MORAL OF THE STORY:  Sometimes — without any perceivable provocation or impetus — people will say something to (or about) someone with no discernable grounds for doing so.

 
(You know: like calling someone “worthy of being avoided.”  I can’t imagine why . . .)
 
The mind boggles.
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